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User talk:Adie98
EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:34, October 13, 2018 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:34, October 13, 2018 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:57, October 13, 2018 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:57, October 13, 2018 (UTC) Additionally this wiki doesn't accept Incomplete stories. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:57, November 17, 2018 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:45, November 17, 2018 (UTC) Story deletion Your stories have been deleted four times (once for reuploading) and three times for having a lot of mechanical and plot issues that resulted in the story not meeting quality standards. Capitalization: You improperly capitalize Dad multiple times. "Reagan and his Dad (dad) greeted me at the door.", "Something was weird with his Dad (dad), though.", "written on all of the beds, and Reagan’s Dad (dad) to greet me with a knife.", " Eventually, Reagan’s Dad came in and told us to go to bed.", etc. A simple rule of thumb is to sub out the word dad with a name, if it fits in the sentence, it should be capitalized, if it doesn't (i.e. it's possessive), it should not. Grammar: It's=it is, it's=possession. "It pulled itself out of the ground, it’s buttons muffled and its carrot rotten.", "It’s (Its) entire body was pitch black except for it’s (its) four eyes, it’s (its) long cape", etc. Grammar issues cont.: There/indicatory, they're=they are, their=possession. "There (their) house was about the most average place I’ve ever seen." Punctuation: Punctuation missing from dialogue. "”F̴I̸N̸D̶ ̶M̶E̷(,)” a demonic voice responded.", "”I̴ ̴H̵A̷V̵E̴ ̸B̸E̷E̸N̵ ̵F̵O̷U̷N̶D̴“.", "“Don’t worry guy,” he said. “We’re safe now”.", etc. Punctuation issues cont.: You frequently forget to punctuate possessive words. "I ran into Raegen(')s house", "Raegen(')s Dad was standing behind the creature with a shotgun.", etc. Spelling: "Mom started wrapping it up and Dad went into the kitchen to get my (sic) a glass of hot chocolate", "As I peaked (peeked) through the crack in the room, I saw Reagan sitting on the floor.", "As soon as Jame (sic) stepped on the first bar in the ladder, and arrow whizzed by and impaled him in the skull.", you also switch between Reagen ("After that, Reagan slit his wrist") and Raegan ("I ran into Raegens house") multiple times through-out the story. etc. Wording: Awkward wording/incorrect word usage. "There was a stick stabbed in the ground, the snow around it muffled (Muffled: (of a sound) not loud because of being obstructed in some way; muted.).", "It pulled itself out of the ground, it’s buttons muffled (how are buttons muffled?) and its carrot rotten.", "“Don’t worry guy,” he said. “We’re safe now”.", "Candles surrounded him and there were symbol drawn all over the walls", etc. Redundancy: "I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a scream. I immediately woke up" Story issues: The story needs a lot of work on its characterization and explanation. "It all started when I went to my friend Reagan's house. I didn’t know him that well.", but he's apparently alright with a ritualistic blood sacrifice "After that, Reagan slit his wrist with the knife and handed it to me. I did the same" which seems odd since he literally slits his wrists (an injury that frequently requires hospitalization due to its possibility to cause nerve/tendon damage) it order to perform it. On top of that, hw did Raegan/Reagan learn to summon a demon and why is he summoning it now? Story issues cont.: You need to work a lot on the action and flesh it out. The climax of the story is smashed into two paragraphs and doesn't really paint a vivid picture due to relatively bland descriptors of what's happening like: "We’re safe now”. I looked down and saw Jame’s body, the arrow still in his head. Bugs were crawling on him (side note: bugs wouldn't infest him that quickly)." and "Pitch black hands appeared and reached for me and Rusty. Jordan jumped in the way and the hand pulled him in." Scenes like this should work to build the horror in the story, but they are lacking impact due to the relatively blunt way they're being described. Story issues cont.: There are a lot of other plot and mechanical issues I could point out, but I feel like this is getting on the long side so I'll wrap up with one more. You should space out dialogue so two speakers are never in the same paragraph. This is done to improve story flow and precent misattribution as it is hard to tell who is saying what and with what intonation when multiple bits of dialogue are in rapid succession. ("”F̴I̸N̸D̶ ̶M̶E̷” a demonic voice responded. “All will hail. Feel my rage!” Reagan screamed, even louder. ”I̴ ̴H̵A̷V̵E̴ ̸B̸E̷E̸N̵ ̵F̵O̷U̷N̶D̴“." Conclusion: I'm going to strongly recommend you use the writer's workshop as this is a lot to overlook with the level of proof-reading you said you used. To put this in context, your story is ten paragraphs long. I have typed out more than that explaining the capitalization, punctuation, formatting, grammatical, spelling, wording, and story issues and I'm finding more issues the more I read over your story. Given that your previous three stories have all had the same issues, I am going to say this: Please use the writer's workshop. There is a lot of work needed here to bring your story up to quality standards and a massive amount of it is due to the plot itself. If you do not, it is very likely admins will continue deleting your work because of the numerous issues present. Best of luck with your writing. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:21, November 17, 2018 (UTC)